How I Didn't Get Shot Today

At around 1ish today I was starving and stressed, so I went to McDonald's for a Southwest Salad with grilled chicken (Which, for the record, is pretty fucking tasty.).

As is usually the case at a fast food restaurant in Texas during the middle of the day, there was a long-ass line. I was the 4th car in and, while I was waiting, 3 others lined up behind me.

The hold up was thanks to a HUGE woman in a mini-van (of course!) staring at the preview menu (You know, the one you get to before you pull up to the real one where you actually order). She would not drive up to the regular menu. I swear she sat there for 5 minutes while at least four of us honked our asses off at her! I wanted to walk up to her fucking window and say, "From the looks of you, this isn't your first fucking time at the Golden Arches. Make a decision, drive up and order your gotdamn food, bitch!"

But I didn't. I took a Xanax instead.