21 Ways to Be Tough, Yet Feminine

Below is an article put together by my very own roller derby league (and picked up by our local CBS affiliate, as well as lots of other media). I am so proud to be part of such an amazing group of women! And I think the recommendations below should be required reading for all young women...and probably some of us older ones, too.

Your very own Ro offers her sage advice on #10.

21 Ways to Be Tough, Yet Feminine
Assassination City Roller Derby

1. Always select your make-up carefully. Waterproof does not always mean sweat-proof.
~ Massey Graves, #999

2. Remember that pretty comes in all sizes. No matter what your size or shape, you're attractive. "Learn to strut your stuff and hold your head high even on a bad day. (A derby girl would go with glitter eye shadow and torn fishnets to gussy up, but you may want to go another route for a day at the office!)"
~ Margaret Speed, #23

3. Don't doubt yourself. "Subtle confidence makes you feel more beautiful than any lipstick or dress ever could."
~ Pyro Maim Ya, #10/70

4. Create an alter-ego. When the going gets tough, let the "Super You" take over. "When I am having a particularly tough time, and Shandra can't possibly handle the situation, 'Trigger Mortis' steps in and helps push me through any obstacle that comes my way, on or off the rink."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX

5. Sound off with a smile. "Always let your opinion be heard, but make sure to charm 'em first!" ~ Margaret Speed, #23

6. Be Aggressive. B-E-AGGRESSIVE. "You want something? Go get it. Don't worry about whether or not you're going to come off as too forward or too brash. Aggressive can be sexy at times, and at other times, well, at least you'll never wonder 'what if?''"
~ Gloria V., #7 Million

7. Treat yourself. "After a particularly tough day, unwind with a bath, a good book and a cocktail. Even the toughest of roller derby girls need to pamper themselves sometimes."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX

8. Find an outlet to plug into. Women have busy lives with lots of responsibilities to cope with. Find a way to channel your frustrations into a positive outlet. "When the office closes down, I change from being a self-employed, hard-working recruiter, mother-of-four and a devoted wife into a hard-hitting roller derby athlete."
~ Barbie M., #1959

9. Celebrate your imperfections. "Derby girls don't hide their scars... They embrace them as part of what makes them beautiful." Plus, they're great conversation starters.
~ Pyro Maim Ya, #10/70

10. Learn to take a compliment. "When someone makes a flattering remark about your hair, outfit or new tattoo, smile sweetly and say, "Thank you." And trust us, if someone tells you that you hit like a girl… it's a compliment."
~ Alex P. Beatin', #Channel 3

11. Don't be afraid to say no. "We, as women, constantly take on too many tasks for fear of seeming weak--or worse--letting someone down. Remember, if you don't have time, or just don't feel comfortable doing it, be firm... It's always ok to say no."
~ Gloria V., #7 Million

12. Break the mold. Just because you choose to do something that is considered unconventional for a woman, like a rough contact sport, doesn't mean you have to be labeled a "tomboy." "Because I play roller derby and am rough on the rink, people automatically assume that in my everyday life I am mean, spit on the sidewalk, and am always looking for a fight. Quite the contrary. You shouldn't be shocked to know that I love my Fendi perfume, and I'm a sucker for a hug from my kids."
~ Claire Voyant, #1-900

13. Get a life. Even the happiest of couples need some personal space and a little healthy time away from each other. "Whether it be roller derby or a book club, find your own hobby. Keep your autonomy--don't mark yourself as merely half of a couple. Even if you're married, you still need to retain your individuality. There's nothing sexier than a woman who's got it going on--on her own."
~ Mojo Jojo, Referee

14. Don't hold a grudge. Everyone trades licks sometimes. It's how you recover from a disagreement that counts. Conduct yourself with grace and dignity in all aspects of your life--at work, home or play. "In our sport, the women who trade bruises on the rink still toast each other after. The same should be for the boardroom, office and beyond."
~ Mary-Ate Ashley, #-1

15. Be a hero. "Atypical, non-conformist adult women everyday are influencing the next generation of women-to-be. Think about how you present yourself in your everyday life and be a role model for future women. Remember that they look up to you and are using you as a benchmark for how they conduct themselves. You have the power to shape the women of tomorrow."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX

16. Use gossip as gas. "Let's face it, women can be a little catty at times, especially when we are in competition with each other. Don't let jealous hyper-judgments derail you. Spin it positive, and use it as motivation and fuel to move toward your goal. You can graciously shake the talkers' hands and tell them, 'Thank you for all you've done' after you've won the game."
~ Xanadoom, #1980

17. Never give up. "Real women fight to the finish. Don't let frustration stand in your way. Roadblocks are only temporary, and if you fall 50 times, get back up 51 times. Nothing feels as good to achieve if it wasn't worked hard for."
~ Fresh Meat Nicole

18. Be selfish once in a while. "Women are often expected to think of others first or put others before us. Sometimes, you have to put YOU first. Focus on your personal goals and what you want to achieve. A woman who knows where she's going doesn't have to stop and ask for directions."
~ Miley Virus, #28 Days Later

19. Get a support system. And no, we don't mean just a sturdy bra. When pursuing a hobby off the beaten track, like roller derby, people are not always inclined to back something they just don't get. "Those people will love you regardless, but it's always good to surround yourself with positive, like-minded people that will cheer you on and offer advice."
~ Smack the Ripper, #5?

20. Try new things. "Go ahead. Be brave. Do something you've never done before but always wanted to. If roller derby girls never tried something new, they would never know the satisfaction of knocking someone off their skates!"
~ Gloria V., #7 Million

21. Redefine feminine. "Don't try to fit into someone else's definition of feminine. Write your own definition. For me, tough IS the new feminine."
~ Mary-Ate Ashley, #-1