Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings...

If you know anything about Texas, you know that this is reality show breeding ground down here. A few names come to mind immediately:

Kelly Clarkson (American Idol winner)

Nikki McKibbon (American Idol non-winner)

Colby Donaldson (Survivor HPOA*)

Melissa Lawton (Nashville Star winner with possibly the coolest husband ever)

Trey and Kasey (Top Chef)

Steven and Jerry (Big Brother 10)

Daniel (Loved him!) and Matthew (Shear Genius)

Etc. Etc. Etc.

There are a ton of others, but I'm not motivated to research them all right now, because that's not really the point of this post.


This post is to share with you all, the Saddest. Picture. Ever.

I don't know what disturbs me more, the fact that Nancy Belew (on the far right) is a little old to be a puppet-making Jason Castro superfan...or the fact that Wanda Dewes is feeling up said puppet...or the puppet itself with that giant body and tiny little shrunken head.

Thoughts?

*HOPA=Hot Piece of Ass (Thank to Precious, the original HPOA, for that one.)

Today's title selection: Master of Puppets - Metallica

If I close my eyes forever...

In my short 33 years, I've done some pretty cool stuff - hiked the Grand Canyon...stood on the star at Texas Stadium...danced in a parade at Epcot Center. But I still have a million things I want to do in my lifetime. So...in an effort to keep track of it all, I started my official "Things to Do Before I Die" list today:

1. Take a Train Trip. The only train I've ever been on was the Heathrow Express in London and that doesn't really count. I want to go on a real train trip...with a sleeper car, dinner service and all that - just like the Orient Express (only without all that murder stuff). I'm sure in reality it's not so glamorous, but I want to see for myself.

2. Write the Great American Novel. I can never think of an idea that I like well enough to spend an insane amount of time writing about (much less one that I feel others would find compelling enough to read). But I will one day and then y'all can be like, "You know that best-selling author, Ro? The one whose book was optioned for that new movie starring Brad Pitt and Nikki Sixx? Yeah...I was totally one of her tens of blog readers back in the day."

3. Meet a parrot that talks. I've never seen one in person, and this just seems like something everyone should experience at least once in their lives, don't you think?

4. Visit the Galapagos Islands. This is definitely high on our list of vacation destinations. And we only have 3 weddings left this year, so we might actually get to start rebuilding our savings account (which has been depleted thanks to the tons of destination weddings we attended recently).

5. Meet Willie Nelson. He's probably not going to be around much longer, so I'd better get on this one. I've seen him in concert a million times, but think it would kick ass to hang out with him. And if I just happen to be in the neighborhood when it's time for his "medicine" -- even better.

So what's on your list?

Today's title selection: Close My Eyes Forever - Lita and Ozzy

Hmmm...I don't think so...

Y'all know I'm not afraid to make up words here and there, but people who use the word "chillax" in a sentence (as in, "This weekend I plan to kick back and chillax with my friends.") should be shot.

I had a work call today from some random sales guy who seriously used that word in our conversation. WTF? Is there no quicker way to let the world know you are a douchebag than to combine chill and relax into that dumbass hybrid? Espeically if you are over 14. And a dude.

I don't think so.

Today's title selection: Goin' Back to Cali - LL Cool J (who is super hot BTW)

Sweet dreams are made of these...

Does anybody else have random celebrity sex dreams? I say "sex dreams" but usually there isn't actual sex involved, just some "heavy petting" as Dear Abby would say. For some reason, I've had several of these...and more often than not, they are about stars I've never really thought were cute in the first place.

Case in point...Mark Wahlberg.Is it just me or does he kinda look like he ate David Spade in this photo? Anyway...if you've read this blog, you probably know I had a little thing for brother Donnie back in my jr. high days. But I never thought much about Marky Mark. For one thing, he seems like he'd be short (I'm 5'9"). For another, I've never been a fan of the third nipple. Two is plenty for this gal.

Example #2....
Long before Sarah Silverman was fucking Matt Damon, he was in one of my dreams. I never really had a thing for him. He's kind of moley (and I like to be the most moley in a relationship, thankyouverymuch). Plus, he's really into baseball, which means I'd have to pretend to be a fan for too many months of the year, which would suck.

Example #3...Jon Bon Jovi.Oh Jon. Your love is like Bad Medicine. But I'd never really thought of you in that way before (I'm more of a Nikki Sixx girl). However, unlike a fine boxed wine, Jon has only improved with age.

Now, lest you think my REM sleep discriminates, I have had a lesbian dream. Just one. And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.
Sadly, this is not an April Fool's joke. Of all the hot women celebrities, I get Kathy Griffin. Not Angelina Jolie...or Gwen Stefani...or Gabrielle Union. Kathy-freaking-Griffin. Now don't get me wrong, she is funny as hell. I love her stand-up and even her D-List show. I'd love to hang out with her and her gays. But I don't want to be getting it on in dreamland (or any other land for that matter) with her. (Note to readers: if you ever have an embarrassing lesbian sex dream, don't share it with your significant other...SuperHusband won't let me live this one down.)

Anyway, the point of this post is...dreams are weird. And I am, too.

Please make me feel better and tell me about yours...

Edited to Add: OK, not details. I'm weird, but not that weird. I just want to hear who they were about. Bonus points to anyone who can beat my girl, KG.