Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Sweet dreams are made of these...

Does anybody else have random celebrity sex dreams? I say "sex dreams" but usually there isn't actual sex involved, just some "heavy petting" as Dear Abby would say. For some reason, I've had several of these...and more often than not, they are about stars I've never really thought were cute in the first place.

Case in point...Mark Wahlberg.Is it just me or does he kinda look like he ate David Spade in this photo? Anyway...if you've read this blog, you probably know I had a little thing for brother Donnie back in my jr. high days. But I never thought much about Marky Mark. For one thing, he seems like he'd be short (I'm 5'9"). For another, I've never been a fan of the third nipple. Two is plenty for this gal.

Example #2....
Long before Sarah Silverman was fucking Matt Damon, he was in one of my dreams. I never really had a thing for him. He's kind of moley (and I like to be the most moley in a relationship, thankyouverymuch). Plus, he's really into baseball, which means I'd have to pretend to be a fan for too many months of the year, which would suck.

Example #3...Jon Bon Jovi.Oh Jon. Your love is like Bad Medicine. But I'd never really thought of you in that way before (I'm more of a Nikki Sixx girl). However, unlike a fine boxed wine, Jon has only improved with age.

Now, lest you think my REM sleep discriminates, I have had a lesbian dream. Just one. And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.
Sadly, this is not an April Fool's joke. Of all the hot women celebrities, I get Kathy Griffin. Not Angelina Jolie...or Gwen Stefani...or Gabrielle Union. Kathy-freaking-Griffin. Now don't get me wrong, she is funny as hell. I love her stand-up and even her D-List show. I'd love to hang out with her and her gays. But I don't want to be getting it on in dreamland (or any other land for that matter) with her. (Note to readers: if you ever have an embarrassing lesbian sex dream, don't share it with your significant other...SuperHusband won't let me live this one down.)

Anyway, the point of this post is...dreams are weird. And I am, too.

Please make me feel better and tell me about yours...

Edited to Add: OK, not details. I'm weird, but not that weird. I just want to hear who they were about. Bonus points to anyone who can beat my girl, KG.


Anonymous said...

Lord-give-me-strength!!! Ok, I once had a straight dream that Sandra Kerns (Charles in Charge) asked me to insert a cheese crisp somewhere crisps don't belong!

It's not Kathy Griffin but it's still disturbing!!!

Anonymous said...

i had a very strange dream a few months ago about julie andrews.. um.. better left unsaid.

(p.s. i absolutely LOVE your blog.)

ro said...

I'm flattered...thanks!

Sandra Kerns and a CHEESE CRISP?? I will never watch Charles in Charge (or CHUD II) the same way again.

And Julie Andrews. OMG. Did you make her hills come alive?? Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Does this count as a celebrity sex dream... it's shameful and involves a Dlister... I have the Tyra show in my DVR. okay, kill me now.

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