For the record, I eat at least a cup of carrots every day and can put my legs straight up, too. Guess that's why SuperHusband hasn't asked for a new hore of his own lately...
Are You Ready Kids? I Can’t Hear YOUUUUUUU!!!
15 years ago
Friday, January 16, 2009
Flashback Friday: Elementary School Writing Assignment
One of SuperHusband's co-workers is married to a third grade teacher. Below is a story submitted by one of her students.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
21 Ways to Be Tough, Yet Feminine
Below is an article put together by my very own roller derby league (and picked up by our local CBS affiliate, as well as lots of other media). I am so proud to be part of such an amazing group of women! And I think the recommendations below should be required reading for all young women...and probably some of us older ones, too.
Your very own Ro offers her sage advice on #10.
21 Ways to Be Tough, Yet Feminine
Assassination City Roller Derby
1. Always select your make-up carefully. Waterproof does not always mean sweat-proof.
~ Massey Graves, #999
2. Remember that pretty comes in all sizes. No matter what your size or shape, you're attractive. "Learn to strut your stuff and hold your head high even on a bad day. (A derby girl would go with glitter eye shadow and torn fishnets to gussy up, but you may want to go another route for a day at the office!)"
~ Margaret Speed, #23
3. Don't doubt yourself. "Subtle confidence makes you feel more beautiful than any lipstick or dress ever could."
~ Pyro Maim Ya, #10/70
4. Create an alter-ego. When the going gets tough, let the "Super You" take over. "When I am having a particularly tough time, and Shandra can't possibly handle the situation, 'Trigger Mortis' steps in and helps push me through any obstacle that comes my way, on or off the rink."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX
5. Sound off with a smile. "Always let your opinion be heard, but make sure to charm 'em first!" ~ Margaret Speed, #23
6. Be Aggressive. B-E-AGGRESSIVE. "You want something? Go get it. Don't worry about whether or not you're going to come off as too forward or too brash. Aggressive can be sexy at times, and at other times, well, at least you'll never wonder 'what if?''"
~ Gloria V., #7 Million
7. Treat yourself. "After a particularly tough day, unwind with a bath, a good book and a cocktail. Even the toughest of roller derby girls need to pamper themselves sometimes."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX
8. Find an outlet to plug into. Women have busy lives with lots of responsibilities to cope with. Find a way to channel your frustrations into a positive outlet. "When the office closes down, I change from being a self-employed, hard-working recruiter, mother-of-four and a devoted wife into a hard-hitting roller derby athlete."
~ Barbie M., #1959
9. Celebrate your imperfections. "Derby girls don't hide their scars... They embrace them as part of what makes them beautiful." Plus, they're great conversation starters.
~ Pyro Maim Ya, #10/70
10. Learn to take a compliment. "When someone makes a flattering remark about your hair, outfit or new tattoo, smile sweetly and say, "Thank you." And trust us, if someone tells you that you hit like a girl… it's a compliment."
~ Alex P. Beatin', #Channel 3
11. Don't be afraid to say no. "We, as women, constantly take on too many tasks for fear of seeming weak--or worse--letting someone down. Remember, if you don't have time, or just don't feel comfortable doing it, be firm... It's always ok to say no."
~ Gloria V., #7 Million
12. Break the mold. Just because you choose to do something that is considered unconventional for a woman, like a rough contact sport, doesn't mean you have to be labeled a "tomboy." "Because I play roller derby and am rough on the rink, people automatically assume that in my everyday life I am mean, spit on the sidewalk, and am always looking for a fight. Quite the contrary. You shouldn't be shocked to know that I love my Fendi perfume, and I'm a sucker for a hug from my kids."
~ Claire Voyant, #1-900
13. Get a life. Even the happiest of couples need some personal space and a little healthy time away from each other. "Whether it be roller derby or a book club, find your own hobby. Keep your autonomy--don't mark yourself as merely half of a couple. Even if you're married, you still need to retain your individuality. There's nothing sexier than a woman who's got it going on--on her own."
~ Mojo Jojo, Referee
14. Don't hold a grudge. Everyone trades licks sometimes. It's how you recover from a disagreement that counts. Conduct yourself with grace and dignity in all aspects of your life--at work, home or play. "In our sport, the women who trade bruises on the rink still toast each other after. The same should be for the boardroom, office and beyond."
~ Mary-Ate Ashley, #-1
15. Be a hero. "Atypical, non-conformist adult women everyday are influencing the next generation of women-to-be. Think about how you present yourself in your everyday life and be a role model for future women. Remember that they look up to you and are using you as a benchmark for how they conduct themselves. You have the power to shape the women of tomorrow."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX
16. Use gossip as gas. "Let's face it, women can be a little catty at times, especially when we are in competition with each other. Don't let jealous hyper-judgments derail you. Spin it positive, and use it as motivation and fuel to move toward your goal. You can graciously shake the talkers' hands and tell them, 'Thank you for all you've done' after you've won the game."
~ Xanadoom, #1980
17. Never give up. "Real women fight to the finish. Don't let frustration stand in your way. Roadblocks are only temporary, and if you fall 50 times, get back up 51 times. Nothing feels as good to achieve if it wasn't worked hard for."
~ Fresh Meat Nicole
18. Be selfish once in a while. "Women are often expected to think of others first or put others before us. Sometimes, you have to put YOU first. Focus on your personal goals and what you want to achieve. A woman who knows where she's going doesn't have to stop and ask for directions."
~ Miley Virus, #28 Days Later
19. Get a support system. And no, we don't mean just a sturdy bra. When pursuing a hobby off the beaten track, like roller derby, people are not always inclined to back something they just don't get. "Those people will love you regardless, but it's always good to surround yourself with positive, like-minded people that will cheer you on and offer advice."
~ Smack the Ripper, #5?
20. Try new things. "Go ahead. Be brave. Do something you've never done before but always wanted to. If roller derby girls never tried something new, they would never know the satisfaction of knocking someone off their skates!"
~ Gloria V., #7 Million
21. Redefine feminine. "Don't try to fit into someone else's definition of feminine. Write your own definition. For me, tough IS the new feminine."
~ Mary-Ate Ashley, #-1
Your very own Ro offers her sage advice on #10.
21 Ways to Be Tough, Yet Feminine
Assassination City Roller Derby
1. Always select your make-up carefully. Waterproof does not always mean sweat-proof.
~ Massey Graves, #999
2. Remember that pretty comes in all sizes. No matter what your size or shape, you're attractive. "Learn to strut your stuff and hold your head high even on a bad day. (A derby girl would go with glitter eye shadow and torn fishnets to gussy up, but you may want to go another route for a day at the office!)"
~ Margaret Speed, #23
3. Don't doubt yourself. "Subtle confidence makes you feel more beautiful than any lipstick or dress ever could."
~ Pyro Maim Ya, #10/70
4. Create an alter-ego. When the going gets tough, let the "Super You" take over. "When I am having a particularly tough time, and Shandra can't possibly handle the situation, 'Trigger Mortis' steps in and helps push me through any obstacle that comes my way, on or off the rink."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX
5. Sound off with a smile. "Always let your opinion be heard, but make sure to charm 'em first!" ~ Margaret Speed, #23
6. Be Aggressive. B-E-AGGRESSIVE. "You want something? Go get it. Don't worry about whether or not you're going to come off as too forward or too brash. Aggressive can be sexy at times, and at other times, well, at least you'll never wonder 'what if?''"
~ Gloria V., #7 Million
7. Treat yourself. "After a particularly tough day, unwind with a bath, a good book and a cocktail. Even the toughest of roller derby girls need to pamper themselves sometimes."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX
8. Find an outlet to plug into. Women have busy lives with lots of responsibilities to cope with. Find a way to channel your frustrations into a positive outlet. "When the office closes down, I change from being a self-employed, hard-working recruiter, mother-of-four and a devoted wife into a hard-hitting roller derby athlete."
~ Barbie M., #1959
9. Celebrate your imperfections. "Derby girls don't hide their scars... They embrace them as part of what makes them beautiful." Plus, they're great conversation starters.
~ Pyro Maim Ya, #10/70
10. Learn to take a compliment. "When someone makes a flattering remark about your hair, outfit or new tattoo, smile sweetly and say, "Thank you." And trust us, if someone tells you that you hit like a girl… it's a compliment."
~ Alex P. Beatin', #Channel 3
11. Don't be afraid to say no. "We, as women, constantly take on too many tasks for fear of seeming weak--or worse--letting someone down. Remember, if you don't have time, or just don't feel comfortable doing it, be firm... It's always ok to say no."
~ Gloria V., #7 Million
12. Break the mold. Just because you choose to do something that is considered unconventional for a woman, like a rough contact sport, doesn't mean you have to be labeled a "tomboy." "Because I play roller derby and am rough on the rink, people automatically assume that in my everyday life I am mean, spit on the sidewalk, and am always looking for a fight. Quite the contrary. You shouldn't be shocked to know that I love my Fendi perfume, and I'm a sucker for a hug from my kids."
~ Claire Voyant, #1-900
13. Get a life. Even the happiest of couples need some personal space and a little healthy time away from each other. "Whether it be roller derby or a book club, find your own hobby. Keep your autonomy--don't mark yourself as merely half of a couple. Even if you're married, you still need to retain your individuality. There's nothing sexier than a woman who's got it going on--on her own."
~ Mojo Jojo, Referee
14. Don't hold a grudge. Everyone trades licks sometimes. It's how you recover from a disagreement that counts. Conduct yourself with grace and dignity in all aspects of your life--at work, home or play. "In our sport, the women who trade bruises on the rink still toast each other after. The same should be for the boardroom, office and beyond."
~ Mary-Ate Ashley, #-1
15. Be a hero. "Atypical, non-conformist adult women everyday are influencing the next generation of women-to-be. Think about how you present yourself in your everyday life and be a role model for future women. Remember that they look up to you and are using you as a benchmark for how they conduct themselves. You have the power to shape the women of tomorrow."
~ Trigger Mortis, #XX
16. Use gossip as gas. "Let's face it, women can be a little catty at times, especially when we are in competition with each other. Don't let jealous hyper-judgments derail you. Spin it positive, and use it as motivation and fuel to move toward your goal. You can graciously shake the talkers' hands and tell them, 'Thank you for all you've done' after you've won the game."
~ Xanadoom, #1980
17. Never give up. "Real women fight to the finish. Don't let frustration stand in your way. Roadblocks are only temporary, and if you fall 50 times, get back up 51 times. Nothing feels as good to achieve if it wasn't worked hard for."
~ Fresh Meat Nicole
18. Be selfish once in a while. "Women are often expected to think of others first or put others before us. Sometimes, you have to put YOU first. Focus on your personal goals and what you want to achieve. A woman who knows where she's going doesn't have to stop and ask for directions."
~ Miley Virus, #28 Days Later
19. Get a support system. And no, we don't mean just a sturdy bra. When pursuing a hobby off the beaten track, like roller derby, people are not always inclined to back something they just don't get. "Those people will love you regardless, but it's always good to surround yourself with positive, like-minded people that will cheer you on and offer advice."
~ Smack the Ripper, #5?
20. Try new things. "Go ahead. Be brave. Do something you've never done before but always wanted to. If roller derby girls never tried something new, they would never know the satisfaction of knocking someone off their skates!"
~ Gloria V., #7 Million
21. Redefine feminine. "Don't try to fit into someone else's definition of feminine. Write your own definition. For me, tough IS the new feminine."
~ Mary-Ate Ashley, #-1
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I'm baaaaaa-ackkkkk!!!
Wow - it's been a long time, huh?
Several people have asked if I've quit blogging (no) or why I haven't written lately. It's not for lack of material (my GOD did you watch Rock of Skank Bus or Love on Location or whatever the third installment of the so-good-it's-bad Bret Michael's vehicle is? Wow.). In fact, I have started to write several posts. I just never finished them. Want to know why?
Honestly...it's because I couldn't think of song lyrics for the post title.
Seriously. How lame is that?!?
When I started this blog, I thought I was so clever w/ the whole "lyrics as post title" thing. But as time went on, I was spending more time looking for semi-appropriate lyrics to use as titles than I was actually writing the damn post. Honestly, it became a big pain in my ass.
So, my New Year's Blog-olution is this: No more song lyric titles!!!!
It already feels like a weight has been lifted! And, of course, I must thank Mama Bee, who gave me a swift (yet very sweet) kick in the ass by nominating me for a blog award on her site the other day. Of course, I only knew about the award because she posted a comment on here to let me know (thanks, little Mama!). You see...when I am not blogging, I feel too guilty to read anyone else's blogs. Weird, I know...but for some reason if I'm not contributing something of my own to the blogosphere, I don't feel right benefiting from the wit and wisdom of other blog-stresses. I've even stayed away from the blogs of HippieSister (y'all might know her as Pearl) and Margaret Speed, my super cool derby wife. For shame!
But now I've assuaged my guilt and I gotta run. I have a LOT of people's lives to catch up on...
*Obviously, I'm not getting rid of my compulsion to create and use made-up words or my abundant overuse of the ellipsis. I can't get rid of all my annoying habits at once, people!
Several people have asked if I've quit blogging (no) or why I haven't written lately. It's not for lack of material (my GOD did you watch Rock of Skank Bus or Love on Location or whatever the third installment of the so-good-it's-bad Bret Michael's vehicle is? Wow.). In fact, I have started to write several posts. I just never finished them. Want to know why?
Honestly...it's because I couldn't think of song lyrics for the post title.
Seriously. How lame is that?!?
When I started this blog, I thought I was so clever w/ the whole "lyrics as post title" thing. But as time went on, I was spending more time looking for semi-appropriate lyrics to use as titles than I was actually writing the damn post. Honestly, it became a big pain in my ass.
So, my New Year's Blog-olution is this: No more song lyric titles!!!!
It already feels like a weight has been lifted! And, of course, I must thank Mama Bee, who gave me a swift (yet very sweet) kick in the ass by nominating me for a blog award on her site the other day. Of course, I only knew about the award because she posted a comment on here to let me know (thanks, little Mama!). You see...when I am not blogging, I feel too guilty to read anyone else's blogs. Weird, I know...but for some reason if I'm not contributing something of my own to the blogosphere, I don't feel right benefiting from the wit and wisdom of other blog-stresses. I've even stayed away from the blogs of HippieSister (y'all might know her as Pearl) and Margaret Speed, my super cool derby wife. For shame!
But now I've assuaged my guilt and I gotta run. I have a LOT of people's lives to catch up on...
*Obviously, I'm not getting rid of my compulsion to create and use made-up words or my abundant overuse of the ellipsis. I can't get rid of all my annoying habits at once, people!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Oh, where have you been, my darling young one?
I can't believe I haven't blogged since October 28!
Actually, I can. Y'all know I can be a serious slacker. But I think that's kinda why you like me...I make you feel better about yourself when you're thinking you might be a little lazy.. Plus I don't judge you for watching shitty reality shows. Yeah, I'm a good friend.
Anyway, I am totally sorry for my lack of posts in recent weeks. I don't have a good excuse. Yeah...my laptop is in the shop (again!), I've had some semi-traumatic dental work, a bad stomach bug, thrown another wedding shower (Yes, again. I know you can't believe it.), had tons of roller derby events and I've been busy as hell at work since our Barbados adventure. But none of those are good enough reasons for being MIA for so long.
Rest assured...I am back now and am hard at working thinking of witty and fun subjects that are sure to enlighten and entertain you.
Stay tuned...
Today's title selection: A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall - Bob Dylan
Actually, I can. Y'all know I can be a serious slacker. But I think that's kinda why you like me...I make you feel better about yourself when you're thinking you might be a little lazy.. Plus I don't judge you for watching shitty reality shows. Yeah, I'm a good friend.
Anyway, I am totally sorry for my lack of posts in recent weeks. I don't have a good excuse. Yeah...my laptop is in the shop (again!), I've had some semi-traumatic dental work, a bad stomach bug, thrown another wedding shower (Yes, again. I know you can't believe it.), had tons of roller derby events and I've been busy as hell at work since our Barbados adventure. But none of those are good enough reasons for being MIA for so long.
Rest assured...I am back now and am hard at working thinking of witty and fun subjects that are sure to enlighten and entertain you.
Stay tuned...
Today's title selection: A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall - Bob Dylan
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
We've got to breathe and have some fun...
Barbados was amazing!!! We were just there for four days...but it went a long way in helping us recharge and get ready for the long, cold winter. OK...we don't really have long, cold winters here in Texas. But it did help us relax a little before it's time for us to break out the jeans and long-sleeve shirts (which should happen at some point in the next month or so...).
Today's title selection: Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
Edited to add: Apparently I misspoke. According to Precious' mom...their town has been visited by candidates. And I quote, "Michael Dukakis during his campaign for President and Lyndon Johnson during some campaign… However, they were both full size humans." See where Precious gets her cuteness?
We were surprised that, as Americans, we were in the tourist minority. Most of the people we encountered were from the U.K. Thankfully, we did bring a friend with us to help up the numbers a little:
Meet Pygmy Obama. Pygmy Obama was discussed extensively on our Telluride trip this summer. Here's the short version - Precious had a dream that Obama was coming to speak at a beach-front resort in her hometown (which, in reality, is about 10 hours from any sort of beach and has never hosted a presidential candidate). She was in charge of making the preparations for his visit, but somehow forgot to put on more than a bathing suit when he arrived. So he gets there, and he was really, really short. Like "three-apples-high*-short." She swore she would never tell Obama's secret and, after his talk, he showed his appreciation by signing her autograph book "Godspeed! Love, Pygmy Obama."
Since Precious told us about the dream, we reference Pygmy Obama often. When we see a tiny door, we know it's the secret presidential entrance...an ornate colonial doghouse is his summer home...a tiny bicycle is how he gets workouts in...you get the idea. So it was only fitting that we gave Pygmy a little respite from campaigning and brought him with us on our trip.
Here he is enjoying his first drink (blue, of course!):
And playing in the sand:
Sampling the official beer of Barbados:
And hanging out with the locals:
As you can tell, he enjoyed his trip to Barbados...almost as much as we did! And I think Precious and I helped spread some Obama love along the way. Now if we could only get the Democratic National Committee to reimburse us for our vacation...
As you can tell, he enjoyed his trip to Barbados...almost as much as we did! And I think Precious and I helped spread some Obama love along the way. Now if we could only get the Democratic National Committee to reimburse us for our vacation...
*= Do you remember what else is "three-apples-high?" Click here if you are too young to catch that reference.
Today's title selection: Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
Edited to add: Apparently I misspoke. According to Precious' mom...their town has been visited by candidates. And I quote, "Michael Dukakis during his campaign for President and Lyndon Johnson during some campaign… However, they were both full size humans." See where Precious gets her cuteness?
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Whoooh ooooh who's that guy?
I didn't really want to have back-to-back reality show blog posts. One because y'all will think all I do is sit around eating bon-bons and watching crap all day and two, because it's a little sad and pathetic (and not too far from the truth). But I caught up on the Real Housewives of Atlanta today and have been obsessed with a couple of things:
1. Apparently, Kim (the token white girl) is only 30. Seriously. I mean, she looks ok...but just seems so much older than that.
2. Who the hell is this Big Papa who is bankrolling her Newport cigarette/Escalade habit?
I've been obsessed with the Big Papa thing. There are a few theories making their way around the internets, but nothing too definitive. Considering that Kim's ex is 70...it could really be anyone. Popular theories are music producer Dallas Austin, singer/producer Polow Da Don, real estate mogul Lee Najjar, billionaire Bill Gates. Ok. Kidding about that last one.
Not that I know any of these people anyway...but I've always been a sucker for a good mystery.
Today's title selection: Who's That Guy? - the cast of Grease 2, which - in my opinion - had far better songs than Grease. However, the original was a MUCH better movie overall. Ro has spoken.
1. Apparently, Kim (the token white girl) is only 30. Seriously. I mean, she looks ok...but just seems so much older than that.
2. Who the hell is this Big Papa who is bankrolling her Newport cigarette/Escalade habit?
I've been obsessed with the Big Papa thing. There are a few theories making their way around the internets, but nothing too definitive. Considering that Kim's ex is 70...it could really be anyone. Popular theories are music producer Dallas Austin, singer/producer Polow Da Don, real estate mogul Lee Najjar, billionaire Bill Gates. Ok. Kidding about that last one.
Not that I know any of these people anyway...but I've always been a sucker for a good mystery.
Today's title selection: Who's That Guy? - the cast of Grease 2, which - in my opinion - had far better songs than Grease. However, the original was a MUCH better movie overall. Ro has spoken.
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