An open letter to my DVR

Dear DVR:

You've brought me so much joy in our short time together. Remember the time you were simultaneously recording Criminal Minds and Gossip Girl, while I was watching the previous week's Rock of Love? Or that one time I thought I'd forgotten to tape Nip/Tuck, only to have you remember on your own and have it waiting for me when I turned you on the next day? Such good times.

Never before have I felt like ending it with you. Not when I first met you and realized your skip button was far inferior to the one on my former recorder. Not when you accidentally recorded every single Law & Order without me asking you to (this added up to about 50 episodes a day and I'm pretty sure some damn good reality television was deleted in the process). Not EVEN that week so many months ago when I had to restart you continuously because you were recently updated and a little "touchy." I understood.

But things have changed.

First, you didn't even TRY to turn on during the last new episode of Criminal Minds. I came home from dinner, put on my comfy clothes and went to watch my absolute favorite show on television only to find that you forgot. How could you??? I don't know how it happened. The title showed up on the list, but the episode was gone..."without a trace" if you will.

Then on Monday, I was ready for some New Adventures of Old Christine. Well...ready may be a strong word, but hell, with the writers' strike...you take what you can get. Again...nothing.

And the straw that broke the camel's back happened later that night. The entire two-hour episode of the Biggest Loser failed to record. You KNOW how important Biggest Loser is to me. It's my motivation to get my ass on the treadmill. It's what I need to stop me from ordering a large pizza and instead bake some chicken. Most importantly, it's a show that doesn't require my full concentration, allowing me to listen while I am searching the internet for celebrity gossip or nosing around pages on MySpace (you know I am too old for this, but you never judge me). It's a two-hour multi-tasking dream! I thought you understood my love of this show. I thought you knew me.

I know we should talk about this more, maybe we can work it out. But it will have to be later...the Domino's guy is here with my large pepperoni and twisty bread and I have a new NetFlix to watch.

XOXOX (?),
Ro