Monday, August 25, 2008

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

This is my 100th (YES 100th!) blog post!!! Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday I was writing this open letter to my DVR then introducing myself to all of you. And by all of you I actually mean none of you because I didn't tell anyone about this thing until I had a few posts under my belt. A lot of my friends still don't know about it...because you never know when you're going to have to bitch-slap someone blog style and I want to leave all my options open.

So this being the 100th post and all...I figured I had to do something big. Then I re-thought it and decided a celebratory bottle glass of wine would be more fun (for me) than trying to come up with something dazzling and creative. But I didn't want to leave y'all I decided to look back on what drew readers to my blog in the first place. Yeah, I know my wit and sarcasm are what keep y'all here, but for the three of you not related to me, something had to bring you over to the dark side in the first place, right?

So I went through Google Analytics (which I totally love) and rounded up a few of the craziest (and creepiest) searches for your reading pleasure:

Boy-short-my-head (huh?)

Cotton balls be flushed? (See...I'm not the only one!)

Birthday greetings for the smooth black man (sorry, only "rough black man" greetings over here.)

Stinky cheerios (I don't even want to know how that happens...)

DJ Ashba looks like a vampire (yeah...a hot one)

Local mistress looking for slave (keep lookin'...)

Pee girl (ewww...)

Seymore Butts squirters (double ewww...)

What will happen if I leave bar of soap under my pit for 30 minutes? (uh...I hope that worked out for you...)

Little boys in speedos (ok...WTF? Can you say super-fucking creepy? I almost didn't want to share that one, but I wanted y'all to feel as dirty as I do.)

I'm not sure any of the aforementioned searches yielded what the Googlers were looking for, but maybe one of them stuck around (fess up), but probably not. Still, the handful of you guys who check in on a regular basis are amazing...and make it much easier to motivate myself to write every now and then. So THANK YOU for a fabulous few months...and here's to another 100 posts!

And y'all are buying the wine next time.

ETA: OK, I looked over at the side menu and there are only 97 posts listed! Apparently I started a couple of crappy ones I never actually posted. But I have kinda written 100 and none of y'all called me out on my mistake. Plus I already drank the wine, so we'll call it good.

Today's title selection: I still haven't found what I'm looking for - U2


Pearl said...

Happy 100th! Those are truly hilarious! The bar of soap under the pit is my favorite I think.

Now please stop writing posts about little boys in speedos.

Mama Bee said...

Isn't Google Analytics like the best toy ever?!

Congratulations on 100 posts! Hopefully my 200+ combined could someday be as funny as just one of yours! Keep up the good work!! :)

Jessica said...


I'm at 1,723...but that includes an awful lot of high school angst. well, and college angst. Um, well, I guess I'm still pretty damn angsty. And super dorky for having a blog for 6 years. D'oh. You win on all counts!

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