I'm diggin’ on you...you diggin' on me....we diggin' on we...

Congratulations, VH-1, for milking reality show skankage for all its worth.

As if Rock of Love and Flavor of Love weren't enough...both shows have inspired a ton of spin-offs. I Love New York (1 and 2), New York Goes to Hollywood, Charm School, Rock of Love Charm School, I Love Money, Real Chance at Love and Daisy of Love (Wow. That title is about as original as Daisy's tits.)...It's only a matter of time until they break into the cooking show genre with Camp Cookin' Rodeo Style.

And now that I think about it...we should probably call all these shows spit-offs since everybody is hooking up (and a few have even been known to actually spit on one another).

The chart at the left (click to enlarge) illustrates the hook-ups of contestants from VH-1's "Of Love" franchise (left) in comparison to sexual activity of the average American (right, bottom). OK...not really. But it might as well be.

Watching all these nasty people get it on with one another totally grosses me out. Flavor Flav is the worst. If you are watching Flavor of Love while eating (which probably isn't a good idea anyway), you'd better hope there isn't a make-out scene.

And did anyone else watch I Love Money? Is it just me, or were you totally grossed out by the house they lived in? It was disgusting and I bet it smelled like stale Newports, dirty panties and man-sweat. Blech.

Of course for some reason, the Rock of Love make-out scenes don't gross me out. Sure, they make me feel a little dirty...and maybe even a little sad for Bret, but I'll take that over Flav's Hoover-mouth any day.

I think that's why I kind of prefer the Charm School shows. Everybody is still drunk and stupid, but without all the "relationship" drama. I'm loving Rock of Love Charm School. And of course, I'm a Team Heather girl, despite her outfit in the season opener:

If you ever wondered what would happen if Dee Snyder and Fredrick's of Hollywood had a baby...now you know.

Today's title selection: Can't Stop - Babyface

Can't you see we're out for blood...

Don't tell SuperHusband, but I'm in love with someone else. He's 17 years old, his name is Edward Cullen and he's a vampire.

Has anyone else read any of the Twilight series?

I was given the first two books (along with an outstanding recommendation) from a friend at work. I admit I was skeptical. I hadn't read any YA fiction in years....probably since an adolescent lit class in college (where I painfully trudged through A Wrinkle in Time). And I am not a big fan of the whole zombie/werewolf/vampire genre. But I was out of town, had just finished RollerGirl - Totally True Tales from the Track (Buy it! Trust me.) and was in need of some reading material. Luckily, I'd thrown Twilight in my bag, just in case.

WOW. Am I glad I did!

I was hooked after the first few pages and didn't put it down until I finished it (well, except to eat and pee. OK. I lied - I took it to the bathroom with me.). Don't get me wrong...it's no Kierkegaard (which is something smart people who don't watch Rock of Love read...from what I hear), but it's light, fun, amazingly entertaining and surprisingly, uh...stimulating (even though there's nothing more than some light kissing).

I'm on the second book now and have devised a perfect strategy for reading it. Since I can't drop everything and read non-stop during the week, I'm letting myself read it for 30 minutes each night on the condition that I ride the stationary bike while I do it. That's right...no exercise, no Edward. So far it's working. You can obviously see why I'm attracted to Edward - he'll never age, he's hot, he loves the nightlife (and presumably he loves to boogie) AND he's helping me lose weight.

What more could a girl want?

Today's Title Selection: Red Hot - Motley Crue