Monday, July 28, 2008

Why does it hurt when I pee...

Has anybody seen the television commercial for Liberator Medical Supply?

No?

Well then let me introduce you to Holly, a 40-ish woman with a penchant for denim button downs and playing with cats in meadows.

Holly tells us that since her health benefits don't cover new catheters, she is forced to reuse them every time she "caths."

OK. First of all...ewww.

Secondly, is cath even a word? Or did she just verbize* catheter? As somebody who evidently reuses catheters pretty regularly...if anyone can do it, I guess she can. But it still bugs me.

And this whole self-cath thing??? When did health care workers stop doing that kind of stuff? I understand there are chronic conditions that require people to do some sort of medical procedure on their own regularly - like diabetics and insulin shots for instance. But I've had a catheter**, and let me tell you, I don't think my public relations degree would have prepared me to put that sucker all the way up in there.

Anyway, enough about me. Back to Holly...

Holly explains how tedious it is to reuse her catheters: She has to boil (I hope in a pot dedicated to that purpose and that purpose alone), dry and reuse them. Plus, they've been causing her to get a lot of nasty urinary tract infections lately (duh!). So what's a girl to do?

Enter Liberator Medical Supply.

Like a shining beacon in the night, Holly hears about this company that will ensure you never again have to boil and toil over your infection-infused catheter. There's only one problem: Holly is afraid to call. Yes, the chick who sanatizes and inserts a pee tube INTO HER BLADDER is too afraid to make a telephone call (a call that we later learn will change her life forever). Thankfully, her mom calls for her.

It's a struggle, but eventually Holly overcomes her telephobia*, talks with the representatives, gets her new catheters and all is well. She feels so good, in fact, that she can squat in the meadow to pet her cat. (Cat...CATheter...nice subliminal messaging there, LMS!)

So what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and call...

Today's title selection: Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? - Frank Zappa

*= Yes, I know I made that up. But y'all know that's how I roll.
**= I was hospitalized after a car accident. There's nothing like the guy you like coming to visit you in the hospital, sitting beside you and politely asking you if you can stop pissing until he leaves because your catheter is at his feet and he doesn't realize you can't help that shit. I hope Holly never encounters such hatred.

19 comments:

SBC said...

Holy Moly what channel are you watching? I need to NOT watch that channel. Weird.

Pearl said...

Are you watching Knitting With Madge again?

Maybe she should just clean her catheter with a Shamwow?

Hammie said...

Now this is why I like American network T.V.
xx

Mama Bee said...

OMG, I just saw this commercial today and just about died! For the life of me, I can't remember what I was watching, but I'm sure it was something classy (like Holly).

Jessica said...

1) cat = pussy = region for the cath
2)psht, i would pee on someone who asked me to stop using my pee bag. PEE ON THEM! Then they would really feel uncomfortable. (be weary if you ever have to visit me in a hospital!)

Anonymous said...

I just saw the ad for the 100th time. Always grossed me out. Finally decided to google Who is the nasty Liberator catheter lady and was happy to discover someone beside myself thought the whole thing was disgusting.

Chad said...

Thank you for this!!! MY BF and I were laughing ourselves sick over this ad today. I just kept looping the "I HAD TO REUSE MY CATHETERS" line over and over...nice to know there are other ppl who find this funny

Anonymous said...

OMG she's back with brown hair now!!!!

Do they think we will take her more seriously????!!!!

While the situation isn't funny, this stupid commercial is!!!!! Love you witty, pithy blog about it..If we can't laugh, then we should just die.....Before we have to "CATH"!!!!

Anonymous said...

Gotta say this:

How does that company stay in busy with only Holly Blonde with cats outside Client; then Holly Brunette with a poodle inside a nice home-Client????? I'm just saying....how much can one girl go?????

Anonymous said...

I know it's futile to get upset at attitudes of others on the Internet, so understand I'm not mad. I just hate to see people look foolish through a lack of understanding.

For some who have issues with urinary retention, catheterization will be required several times daily. Reusable catheters are a reality and do necessitate some cleaning and care. Disposable catheters are available but cost about $5 apiece. Just spend a day throwing in a fiver every time you pee and you'll begin to appreciate the value that a cheap cath provides.

I hope that you can appreciate this information and use it to perhaps profess a less insensitive view.

MT said...

And why was she so embarrassed at talking to someone on the phone about her pee problem but manages to do so on national tv?

Holly Clark said...

Hi this is Holly.... Yes..THE Holly... BTW .. mom just gave me the PHONE Number.. I called Liberator.. I talked to JoAnn on the Phone... And the reason I am talking on NATIONAL TV is to help others like me that need this kind of help.. You guys make some really funny points. About the Cat.. I love animals.. and the production company had a few.. It was a fluke ..the Cat just showed up so we kept it in.. Funny how ironic that now seems huh? The Poodle.. Again..was at the house we were filming in... Really a sweet Dog. I rescued.. oh about 12 cats myself and many dogs from the pound.. thats just me..and as far as getting on National TV.. been there done that before... just had been feeling pretty bad until Libertor got me back on my feet again with all the help they gave me.. Have a great day:) It is funny in my head too! To Pee or not to Pee.. hey that is the REAL Questions! LOL!

Anonymous said...

I actually like that commercial, at least it's not boring!
Holly is lovely, by the way.

Not sure why so many are grossed out about peeing??

Anonymous said...

Holly is a hero.
..no matter what color her hair is. Dealing with interstistial cystitis...multiple Sclerosis ....along with diabetes ....and she is still trying to hep others who are disabled. What some people are saying is bad like What you went through with your boyfriend. Unfortunately disabled people are ridiculed in this country for trying to survive. Google Holly Clark Mustang and see what Holly has done despite her disabilities.....

Holly Clark said...

Thank You supporters! I'm having another health scare ...but I'm sure ill be better soon..take care and stay healthy! HOLLY Clark...Mustang Designers Daughter...with ic Ms heart issues and much more ...but my quote even dead people look good with makeup!

geturexbackMike said...

I just saw that commercial. It's on late at night. I still don't know why a seemingly healthy woman has to regularly use a catheter. I used to date a girl with a quadriplegic brother and she had to "cath" him at night when she took care of him. But this gal's still a mystery. Can't she just wear Depends?

Liberty Medical has catheters too so I'd probably call them instead because according to Wilfred Brimley, with Liberty Medical, you never get sick, you never get old and you never die.

Anonymous said...

I heard that Holly actually owns Liberty Medical or has some kind of connection to the company. Anyone else heard that?

Anonymous said...

She actually has a condition called INTERSTITIAL CYSTITIS. Google it may change your minds belittling a woman who needs the use of catheters just to be able
To be able to function in daily life. Imagine having the worst uti of your life & not ever being able
To rid yourself of it, welcome
To the disease. It's amazing how ignorant people can't be, whoever the pretty lady Playing in the field couldn't have an "invisible" illness of the bladder. Since when does one have to be in a wheel chair to need catheters? Since when is the conversation about catheters have to be about having it simpler because she doesn't have to use a foley catheter?

Anonymous said...

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don't want no doctor to stick no needle in me.
Why does it hurt when I pee?

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