Friday, April 4, 2008

Flashback Friday: Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round

Back before the whole “obesity epidemic” thing hit, there used to only be one fat kid in each grade. And when I was growing up…that kid was me.

Every year we had to go to the nurse’s office for our annual height/weight/head lice check. This was always the most humiliating day of elementary school. Especially in third grade when I stepped on the scale and the skinny little nurse looked at me with disdain (I was not imagining this) and yelled out “137!” I’m sure that after full day of hearing numbers like “65” and “70” the assistant must’ve thought she misheard Nurse Ratched. Sadly, she did not.

So began my lifelong quest to slim down. I don’t really remember dieting until much later, but I did try to exercise (Jane Fonda, Calenetics, etc.). I was already playing tons of sports (poorly…but I was playing them). Then I happened across a product that gave a glimmer of hope to me, and other pre-pubescent fatties everywhere: the Get in Shape Girl workout.

Oh how I loved my rhythmic gymnastics set (never mind the fact that I couldn’t even – and still can’t – do a cartwheel). I spent hours upon hours in the front yard, dressed a red leotard and white tights with grass stains on the feet (hey, I might’ve been chunky, but I had pretty high self-esteem), entertaining the neighbors with my routine to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. I could whip that pink ribbon around like nobody’s business!

I had two sets of Get in Shape Girl products – the ribbon one, as well as the super-cool leg warmers, headband and 1-poundish weight set. I didn’t do much with the weights, but I loved the headband and legwarmers. They often complimented my leotard and tights (and sometimes my school-day attire).

Unfortunately, as much as I did my routines, I never got in shape. I think it was the fried Texas Toast slathered in butter and other such delicacies I ate on a regular basis. Maybe if they would’ve had a “Don’t Eat Like Pig, Girl” set I would’ve. But I did have fun.

That said, I'm happy to report I'm no longer the fattest kid in class. I do, however, still dance in my front yard to the sweet, sweet sounds of George and Andrew on a pretty regular basis.


Imelda Matt said...

where have you been all my life???? You need to fly for 20hrs and join me for a session of lady-oke! Yes! It's exactly what it sounds like, hours of dancing to music recorded only by women (WHAM included) and if your lucky it may end with Imelda's fav game 'ANTM'!

I have a Gulfstream that's sitting idol and you've got two tix...:)

ro said...


You'll have to take me shoe shopping, though!!!

Imelda Matt said...

Tranny Fierce!

WendyB said...

Andrew I miss him!

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