It took me a long time to become the “whiskey and water” girl you all know and love. In fact, I spent the first 5 of so of my drinking years (which all occurred before I was legally permitted to imbibe, by the way), experimenting with a range of really, really bad shit. Granted, it wasn’t always by choice…when you’re 16 and it’s Friday night, you take what you can get. But I do recall loving a few of these god-awful drinks.
1. I grew up in a small town and, while I didn’t personally live on a farm, I did tend to visit this one pretty often:
2. I can’t tell you how many Camp Beverly Hills and Swatch shirts were ruined by the purple stains thanks to this grape mess:
3. If you’ve ever eaten red hots, while chewing cinnamon gum and drinking a Big Red, you’re familiar with this one. We liked to pair it with a Route 44 Sonic Sprite – we were classy like that:
4. The drink of choice for alcoholic bums and high schoolers who could get wasted on less than $5. Bonus: fits nicely in a brown paper bag. 
5. When you’re looking for a smooth malt liquor with a little something extra, reach for the big mouth. Granted, it doesn’t have the street cred of, say, Colt 45 or OE 800 (“8-ball”), but it does have the famous jar-lid rebus that is pretty ingenious. Were they catering to the more educated malt liquor drinker? Or was the marketing director a former puzzle maker for Highlights for Children? Either way, everybody wins on this one.
I hope this pub crawl down memory lane has you ready to take on the weekend. As my good friend Blondie would say, “Everybody drink two!”
Cheers!
4 comments:
ah, yes.. well i'm 16 now, so the pickings are still slim. there's the nasty cheap beer.. the gross drinks like flavored brandy that kids steal from their parents.. this stuff i've had called "blue crush" (yes i think thats actually what it's called), but all i know about that is that it turns your tongue bright blue. oh, and the ubitquitous gatorade bottle full of god-knows-what.
that cinammon stuff you mentioned reminds me of the time we were drinking cinnamon flavored goldschlager (is that how you spell it?), and lets say we had a little too much.
to this day i cannot chew cinnamon gum without actually wanting to throw up.
Sadly I drank before 21 as well, but it was all in college. Boone's and MD 20/20 were some of our pre-club favorites! Thanks for the memories!!!
omg, i just relived my junior year of high school. awesome post! i will admit to drinking a bottle of 'night train' because of the gnr song. i was so cool!
I too started out with Boones and Purple Passion. While I am now 35 and it's been a number of years since I've had the Passion, I have been currently searching for it on line and trying to order it just to have my own trip down memory lane. As far as Boones go my friends and I still imbibe this magical potion quite often as an extra drink to have around. We've even turned the classic UNO game into our own drinking version which we lovingly call Boon-O. The MD 20/20 still turns my stomach just to see the bootle.
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