I said Mama but we're all crazy now...

Oh. My. God.

Reality television has hit a new low (or high...depending on how you look at it) and it's called I Know My Kid's a Star. This show is absolute greatness. And it's taught me one important thing that I have to pass on. The Britneys...the Lindsays...the Dana Platos...and all the other "fallen children stars" who we hear about all the time never stood a chance. If this program is any indication of how things work in the showbiz world...their mothers are to blame. Jesus, these moms are bat-shit CRAZY.

I'd planned to post about Rocky (aka Melissa Brasselle who you probably don't know from such cinematic masterpieces as Cheerleader Massacre and Black Scorpion - she played "streetwalker #1," by the way). From the first show when she asked her 9-year-old daughter if her "tampon string was showing" (seriously), she has stolen the limelight from everyone (with the exception of Danny Bonaduce who drops "the Partridge Family" in every other sentence..ooohhhh drinking game!), especially her super-cute daughter Hayley. But honestly, the other moms are catching up fast.

My new least favorite is GiGi Hunter. I don't care if she was a dancer in Coming to America in her heyday, she is just plain mean to anyone who does better than her daughter on a challenge (which is most of the kids, by the way). She even got sweet little Shannon to cross over to the dark side.

Shannon's daughter, McKenzie, freaks me out. A lot. In the first few episodes, she looked like a mime with her her super white face and red lips (shouldn't a former Miss Random-Small-Southern-State know how to apply make up to her daughter a little better?).Plus, every time you see her in the background of a shot, she has this creepy pained smile on her face that cracks every so often. And then the acting. OH MY GOD THE ACTING. They compare her to an overacting to Shirley Temple...yeah...if Shirley did about 12 lines of blow or so with César Romero on the back lot of Twentieth Century Fox.

If you haven't seen this show, it's well worth 60 minutes of your time. If for nothing else than to ponder why Gian (pronounced John for those of us in the more lowbrow set)'s mom looks so familiar. It's seriously driving me crazy. Not bat-shit crazy. But crazy nonetheless.