Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Mother...tell your children not to hold my hand...

If you've been following my blog (or know me in "real life"), you probably are aware of the fact that I'm not really into the whole kid thing. I mean I love them (and they are strangely attracted to me for some reason), especially my super-fucking-cute nephew, DoodleBug. I just don't have that whole "maternal instinct" or the need to procreate that so many of my friends seem to have. I'm not really sure why this is, but I can venture a few guesses:
  1. I am an only child, so I never took care of brothers/sisters (or had to share my toys, which was an added bonus).
  2. I didn't babysit, so I probably wouldn't know what to do with one most of the time (although I am a kick ass diaper changer and can cut food into tiny bites, thanks to DoodleBug).
  3. I was raised by my grandmother and had a sort of strange relationship with my mother. So I think it's always in my head that since I essentially "didn't have a mom" I wouldn't really know how to be one (ohhh...deep and insightful, huh?).
  4. I really, really like to take naps (which I hear you can't do too much once the babies start coming).
  5. I'm pretty selfish.

Or maybe I just spent so much time and energy in college praying I wasn't pregnant that I'm just used to it now?

Whatever the case may be...I'm just not mommy material. And you'd think because I don't know much about that whole world that I would avoid most things baby/kid related (unless said tiny person in question is related to me), right? But guess what....you'd be wrong. Things changed a few months ago when I was looking for a Yo Gabba Gabba sweater for DoodleBug and stumbled upon something previously unknown to me...the mommy blog.

Google took my to Ashley's Closet and it catapulted from there. Now, there are several blogs that I read on a daily basis because these ladies are smart (and smart asses - like me! - which I love), hilarious and love reality television as much as I do. A few of my faves are (in no particular order):

Mom to Bee
Pearls of Wisdom
Ravings of a Mad Housewife
Hammie's Blog
Mama's Losin' It

Those are the ones that come to mind off hand. My computer is still in the shop and all my bookmarks are on it, not this shitty loaner so I might've left some off. But if you've ever in the mood for a laugh and my blah-g just ain't doin' it for you...check them out. You just might get sucked in, too.

Today's title selection: Mother - Danzig (the child-size dude from The Misfits...)


Anonymous said...

I love your blog. Maybe you like reading the mommy blogs because deep down you DO like children....or, you just like to laugh at our pain. Okay, you probably just like to laugh at our pain. :)

Hammie said...

I coulda done with a cool child free aunt when I was a teenager. An aunt with all the facts and none of the judgement (and maybe an invitation to one of those parties?)
Thanks Ro!

Imelda Matt said...

NEVER! While i find spittle amusing, having my niece vomiting in my mouth (after a robust jump on the trampoline) did it for me! Children are best locked in the attic with the flowers!

I'm surprised you haven't been accused of 'praying yourself barren'. I trust you and if you say these mommy bloggers are tres amusing (Hammie's a given) then I'll give them a crack. But promise you'll scoop the vomit out of Imelda's mouth...promise!

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