Thursday, June 12, 2008

I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)...

Ah…the MySpace headline. A way (in 55characters or fewer) to give the world (or at least the 100 million or so registered MySpace users) a little insight into who you are, what you like, your values…or your favorite Adam Sandler movie quote.

In my personal quest to come up with the above (under the aforementioned space constraints), I looked at what others had written. Before long, I was sucked into the MySpace vortex on a quest for a great quote to steal (or at least a little inspiration). I came up empty, but learned three valuable facts:

1. There are an overwhelming number of people who “Live each day like it’s your last.” This quote (and its variations) is by far the most popular headline I’ve encountered. (Incidentally, if millions of Americans are truly doing this, that really explains a lot about our state of affairs.)

2. Strangers are entertaining! I really enjoyed reading the headlines of others…so much, in fact, that I’ve compiled a few of my favorites into categories to share with you. I hope you find them as amusing (and at times as puzzling) as I do.

3. I am STILL a loser who can’t come up with my own creative headline. Even worse, I’m making fun of what other people use as theirs. However, I do recognize that the authors were ballsy enough to actually type something original in their headline fields, which is admirable…although often regrettable. So I give them props for that.

Anyway….here are the fruits of my Hilarious Headline Hunt (sorry, I am an alliteration addict. Hey! Maybe THAT’S my new headline!) All typos and grammatical errors have been preserved to maintain the dignity of the headline and its author (including any of my own which may appear in the body of this post).

Songwriters in the making…(if the songwriter in question is Paul Stanley):
"If I should die tonight, i would want to be reborn as a tear, To be born in your eyes, to live on your cheek and to die on your lips"

"True Love Hurts When You Suffer"

"Honey dipped and well equiped!!"

"Staying sharp as a broke glass bottle"

"You're my addiction, my prescription, my antidote."

MySpace Mathematics:
"25%Cowboy + 25%Biker + 50% Fun = Tons of fun times."

"Alcohol + Lake + 6 People = WILD & CRAZY WEEKEND!"

A country boy can survive:
"4 wheelers mud and racing is there anything else "

“Beer, Bait and Ammo"

""fishin on the boat or trollin on land""

You may not think I’m hot, but:
"I'm bored, take me out!!"

"~*I Am Me....Love It Or Keep On Walking*~"

"Gastric Bypass Surgery really works!"

"Just some nothing about everything"

"Suspense, thrills & ghost."

"Getting dragged kicking and screaming into the 19th century is no fun."

"I like to pick ass and take names." (Ro: I HOPE this is a typo)

From people 30 years of age and older (not 14-year-old girls):

"Yeah, I'm HAWT!!! "

"m3Rry M33+, m3rRY p4Rt, 4N) M3Rry m33t 4941n!"

Self esteem issues:
"Don't tell me I'm beautiful. Don't tell me I'm sexy. Don't tell me I have beautiful eyes. Because we both know that you don't really mean any of those words that you are saying."

"I feel old! I am falling apart!"


I still haven’t found what I’m looking for:

"I am looking for "more then just friends."

"Mistress looking for sub or slave for 24/7 live-in "

"I lie to girls"

A couple of my genuine favorites:
"i've got mood poisoning, it must be something that i hate"

"Tact is for People who aren't Witty enough to be Sarcastic "

"When I said I'd hit that, I meant with my car..."

"If your gonna ride my ass at least pull my hair!"

Today's title selection: Who Are You - The Who (duh...)


Pearl said...

I think my favorite is: "Tact is for People who aren't Witty enough to be Sarcastic "

Maybe you should have a blog contest and have your readers create a myspace headline for you? The prize could be that the winner gets the satisfaction of you using their witty headline.

Here's my submission for you:

Fuck you, We're from Texas!

Anonymous said...

You have me laughing! I think my myspace quote is "Big Girls poop in the potty" since that's all I say each and every day to my daughter.

Another quote that is used all the time is "Well behaved women rarely make history." Zzzz Yeah, honey, and you're really blazing trails over there as a manager of GAP, huh? Go have another Cosmo with your friends and think up something more original.

Elisa said...

"m3Rry M33+, m3rRY p4Rt, 4N) M3Rry m33t 4941n!"

ok, this has got to be the stupidest line I have EVER seen, Seriously.

Tina said...

Here are some witty one-liners you may like...

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

You can't be late until you show up.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

Stealing Content Sucks!

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